Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
