i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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