I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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