Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Randomize
