Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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