I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
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I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.