How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
