i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
