I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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