so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
