Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
