All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
