After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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