Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You took a bar mat shot.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
