i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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