Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
