i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
