sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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