I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Two words: blizzard sex
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
