coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
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you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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