I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
