we made out on top of his cat.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
