How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
