youre lurking in front of me
just tell him i said nine months
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
