I want to make a zoo with you.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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