I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
