it's like russian roulette but with a penis
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
