Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
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she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
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How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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