I met the friendliest cop last night
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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