I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
