we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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