dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Everclear isn't food dammit
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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