he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
