I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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