you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
