Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
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I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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