That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Your penis caused this!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
