WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
only if we run a train.
done.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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