I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
