You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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