I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
false alarm, still single
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
