i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
