Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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