Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
