my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
