I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
