I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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