I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
