By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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