They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
