Plan B is the new Plan A
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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