I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
