just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
