i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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