ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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