Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
