wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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