I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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