my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I supernannyed him into submission
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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