Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
being pregnant is like rehab
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
