That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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