i may or may not be watching the land before time
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
