We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
do herpes really smell.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
