Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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